Saturday, June 30, 2007

My Heart Belongs to my Rival*

Sometimes I feel like a fake. I haven't walked through campus alone at 3am lately, I haven't rock-climbed in a few years, I haven't almost died in quite a while, and I haven't kicked anyone in the head since '03. It almost seems wrong to sign off as Danger. I feel so bland sometimes. Then I think, who do I know that has to schlep psychotropic drugs through the ghetto? Who has to wait for the guy who looks dead to twitch so I know he's just on drugs and don't have to feel bad about sprinting away? Who has to be around Crazy Baby-Killing Lady for more than five minutes? Who else walks in on their patient and some very, very angry man rolling joints? And most recently, who has to calm down a psychotic patient so the hospital doesn't have to post security outside of her door? That's right, Danger does it**.

In other news, I have not been this excited since I got a Kitchen Aid mixer. I successfully procured a crock pot. With digital timer. And room for two whole chickens. AND it's pretty. I spent 15 minutes at B, B, and Beyond talking with a sales rep about the pros and cons of every single model. It was like when my husband and brothers talk about Chevys, except interesting. Sadly, I did not have the money to buy a new Cuisinart. Why? Because the damn thing was $250. I could pay my student loan for the next four months for that. Furthermore, if I am going to pay that kind of money for an appliance it had better have an espresso maker and vibrating shower head attachment included, and I am fairly sure Cuisinart isn't into that kind of thing. Unlike Wahl, they're a bit too white bread and puritanical. Wahl is crazy like that, making calibrators, thermal imagers, nose clippers, AND "massagers." So, Cuisinart? When you relax a little and expand your horizons, give me a call.

*I've had comments about the logic of my titles. See, Rival is the producer of my slow-cooker, and I am super pumped about using it this weekend, and I thought this title would explain that in the fewest words, albeit somewhat cryptically if you aren't in the know.

**Damn, that sounds like the name of a bad sitcom. Or an awesome one.

2 comments:

Rodrigo said...

Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.

Danger said...

Que?