Saturday, November 29, 2008


MacGyver lent someone our copy of The Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger by Stephen King. Neither of us remembers who has it. Normally we'd just buy another, but it's part of a boxed set. Anyone who offers information resulting in a successful location and recovery will be rewarded with baked goods.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Falling in the Ocean

For a long time I've felt like I'm stranded in an ocean. Wave after wave drags me below the surface, and I never know how or if I'm going to breathe again. I only know there will always be another wave. Maybe I'll drown, maybe I'll be swept to shore eventually. I used to care, I used to fight, but I don't anymore. I just try to float. I'm lonely, but I'm not alone. Somewhere people are partying on a cruise ship. Somewhere a couple is falling in love on the beach. Somewhere a swimmer lost a leg to a Tiger Shark. What we have has nothing to do with what we deserve.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Another Goddamned Chance to Build Character

Yesterday I was supposed to celebrate my sister's birthday by going to the movies and eating ice cream cake. Instead, I got a rejection letter from grad school and spent most of the afternoon sobbing in bed. It got me thinking that I might have a curse, and I have begun researching how to lift a it.

Some answers:

just enter into the kingdom or ur heart,no curse can ever harm u-relaxed and be positive,enjoy every moment but meditate ,meditation will provide u strong shield where no curse can pierce it. Um, no. I don't take advice from LOLwiccans.

lift withyour legs, not your back. Lifting with your back can cause injury Because NO ONE wants a slipped disk on top of a curse.

yes, repent and turn to Jesus and obey His Gospel and His call, and no curse will bother you exept that of sin (which all men are cursed with). No curse has any power over you when you have turned to and become one of God's children who is living in obedience to Him. Of course! Everyone knows Jesus is the bomb at banishing everything pagan!

Curse the curser. Take an object connected to the curser and place a curse on it. Ask a witch doctor or some other person who practices curses to place a counter curse. Tell the person who cursed you, and it cancels the curse he or she placed on you. I asked Jesus what he would do. He said to punch you in the throat for that lame-ass answer.

Go get some of those salt packets you can get a fast food restaurant put one in your pocket. Place them in a black pouch with a red cord, some frankincense, mullein, sage. Also put in the pouch Jet, Obsidian, and some Jasper for good measure, in your pouch before you close it you should put a piece of paper with the following runes arranged in this order with dragon blood ink: Uruz,Algiz, Mannaz, Eihwaz, and Tiwaz. Remember to keep it with you at all times. Forget Christ, I'm putting my faith in rocks!

when you raise your vibrational frequencies with happy loving thoughts, random acts of kindness, trust and faith in your ability to deal with whatever comes along, a curse can no longer hurt you I'm all about the vibrational frequencies, if you know what I mean.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Oh. Yeah.

Two of my favorite boys:

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Meow, We Can

Domino: Happy! Happy! Happy!
Me: What's going on? Did you snag a capybara or something?
D: For once my joy has nothing to do with maiming and nomming. Obama is president! One of my own!
M: Wait, what? Cats are libertarian!
Gonk: Not me! I joined the Greenies Party.
M: Buddy, that's the Green Party. It's about social justice and environmentalism, not yummy treats.
G: B-B-B-B-But I p-p-p-prayed all election for Greenies!
M: Stop crying and get control of your bilabial plosives, I'll get your treats!
D: It's pitiful how you fold, origami girl. True, I vote libertarian, but only because anarchists don't run for office.
M: Imagine that.
D: But Obama knows my pain, we face the same prejudices and racism.
M: Now you're just talking crazy-talk.
D: Look at me! White cats exclude me because I'm so black. Black cats reject me 'cause I have too much white. No one sees the real me.
M: No, they see the real you, and they're terrified.
D: Laugh it up, pink monkey. Things are gonna change around here. Obama and I are practically family, and I'll be riding his coattails to power. See, I'm writing him a congratulatory note. I'll mention how much we have in common, and before you know it I'll be on my way to D.C. Remember Socks Clinton? I am so much prettier, I won't even have to send a résumé, just a picture.
M: You don't watch the news much, do you? The Obamas are getting a dog when they move into the White House, and Gonk won't be there to protect you.
D: I don't want to be in his house, I want to be in his Cabinet.
G: Why would you want that? Being shut in the cabinet is punishment! It's dark and scary!