Saturday, August 30, 2008

Exclamatory Fragments


OMFG, these are so good. I thought the original was delectable, but now they've added spices! Takes it to a whole 'nother level.


Less than a month till Burn After Reading premieres! I've been waiting all summer for this, and it's just a couple weeks till I can bask in the Double Coen-y goodness.


A couple weeks ago I had lost all hope, but we finally closed on a house yesterday morning. It's a two-story white farmhouse in a quainter section of the county, and I'll have my very own stump!

Awesome, isn't it? It's taller than I am and it has all this cool fungus growing on it. The only bad part is MacGyver wants to remove it. Sigh. Maybe I can shellac it and put in on display in my very own house.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Come and Get It or I'll Throw It Out

Due to circumstances involving cancer and pregnancy, MacGyver and I have moved into my dad's house. In a few weeks, we will move into our own house, unless I just jinxed the closing by believing everything will be fine and go as planned. Fuck. Our FutureHouse has about 174 things wrong with it, but only a few that truly make it uninhabitable, like a gas leak and a loose toilet and an unusable bath. Besides the important stuff, it also needs new electric and plumbing and some foundation work and non-ass-sucky replacement kitchen cabinets and a new furnace before it breaks. Moving into my dad's is sort of practice for living in a house that's older than Utah. He has let a few things go unfixed, to put it nicely. He doesn't cook, so he doesn't care about the kitchen unless it's burning down. Really, he probably doesn't care at all because I can't find a fire extinguisher and he can't hear high-pitched noises like smoke alarms anymore. The oven fan is broken and makes a loud buzzing sound at random intervals, so his solution is to turn it off at the breaker. Also, I can't remember when all the burners worked, but we're down to two now. One of the reasons I'm living there is to provide dinner for him and my brother while he's recuperating. Can you see the problem here? That problem would be cooking with half a stove and an oven that drives me guano crazy. It's only been a week of cooking dinners, but already I'm nominating my mother for sainthood. For forty years she made dinner for eight people and served it at six o'clock sharp. I'm cooking for four people that want to eat things I don't deem healthful for a cancer patient and they plain refuse to eat certain foods and I'm awesome if I can get dinner on the table at seven o'clock two nights in a row, plus I'm doing all the clean-up and most of the grocery shopping. HOW DID MY MOTHER DO THIS? How did she manage dinnertime by not drowning the pickier eaters, not ordering pizza more than once a month, and not threatening us with steak knives and the Cuisinart to eat our vegetables? It's comforting to use her pots and pans, to use her knives that my hands have known since elementary school, to look out her window when I'm washing dishes and imagine she felt this way once when she was my age. Oh mom, it's so easy to find more reasons to miss you.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Waiting x 6

I'm waiting to find out if I get an interview for grad school.
Waiting for the doctor to schedule my brother's chemotherapy.
Waiting for fall classes to begin.
Waiting for negotiations to end so we can close on the house.
Waiting for my library books to arrive.
Waiting for Pfizer to invent an instant-Zen pill so I can chill.

Anyone want to work a puzzle with me? It looks like I've got some time to kill.

Monday, August 11, 2008


Some Chick: "I can't believe how immature people are in your town!"
Me: Disturbed from my reading by a complete stranger, I stare at her in confusion
SC: "It's like, I was at this light, and like, the person in front of kept talking on his phone when the light turned and blah blah blah!! I couldn't believe it!"
Me: "Yeah, they teach us that in Driver's Ed here."
SC: Laughs like she thinks I was being funny.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

My Kind of Blessing

I have four older brothers, and they have influenced me a lot over the years. For example, when I was a wee tot, my mom would dish food onto my plate to cool while the family said grace. One night, I examined the food on my plate and interrupted the prayer with "I HATE THIS SHIT! I HATE THIS SHIT! I HATE THIS SHIT!" Now where would a toddler learn that?

Also, my sister turned Baby Bunny into Ellen Ripley from Aliens 3. Check it:

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Face-to-Face with Adulthood

On August first, my life went all grown-up on me. My application reached the office of admissions for the physical therapy program I'm dying to enter and MacGyver made an offer on a house: two tiny events that could change our lives forever. By this time next year I'll probably be fully moved in (somewhere) and I could be finishing my first semester of grad school. Just thinking about it makes me light-headed and slightly sick to me stomach. I dislike the commitment of large furniture and I'm facing a thirty year mortgage.

And then? Yesterday we were with MacGyver's extended family and interacted with kids a lot. He mentioned that he thought one niece looked a little bit like me, and when I protested he barely heard me over the ticking of his biological clock.

Jeebus help me.