Sunday, March 30, 2008

I'm an Alcoholic Hero. Who Knew?

Which Discworld Character are you Like?
created with
You scored as Commander Samuel Vimes

You are Samuel Vimes! Captain of Ankh-Morpork's city Watch! You are a knight, married to the very wealthy, noble lady Sybil Ramkin. You often walk the streets at night, and are able to tell where you are by the feel of the cobbles under your boots. You always do what is right (that is, what needs to be done) to keep the city safe, even when it seems bad.

Commander Samuel Vimes


Carrot Ironfounderson


The Librarian






Lord Havelock Vetinari


Gytha (Nanny) Ogg


Cohen The Barbarian




Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax


Friday, March 28, 2008


I've been thinking about stuff (again). I just thought I'd share.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Paper, Rock, Obama

On the negative side, Bush sucks and his approval rating is a scant 28%. Might the five year anniversary of his war have anything to do with that? On the plus side, he has given me a reason to like all the possible candidates for '08. Because, seriously, it can't get any worse. After eight years of a hypocritical, Earth-raping, illiterate, greedy leader, we get to have somebody else. No matter who gets elected, even if it's a retarded monkey, we can all sleep sounder knowing the most powerful simian in the world is not an incompetent tool.

If John McCain is elected, he will probably keep on with the senseless warmongering . But, at least he has experience and doesn't have an unexplained six month lapse in his military career. He might actually know what he's talking about, so he won't have to resort to yelling "The terrorists hate our freedom!" while pounding his fists on the podium to sway his audience. As a bonus, he's old and white, so he looks the part.

Clinton is a smart lady. You don't get into Wellesley for juggling geese, that's for sure. She's been a Senator since 2000, so she's got that experience thing going for her, sort of. If she is elected, we'll get more Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton repetition, making it easier for future schoolchildren to memorize the Presidents. Plus, we'll get to call Bill "The First Dude" instead of "Mr. President."

Obama could be our hottest President since Reagan. Rowrr! He's articulate and charismatic, the Democratic Golden Boy. He could have been anything, a game-show host or a weatherman even, but instead he chose public service. What a guy!

Right now I'm behind Obama because I think his environmental plan is the best of the three and he's pro-choice. I'm not so picky, I'd probably vote for that retarded monkey if it vowed to add the polar bear to the endangered species list and promised me free ice cream.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

To Whom It May Concern

Dear Joss Whedon,

I love you more every day. If I could try on someone's mind for a day, it would so be yours. Mostly to see episodes of Firefly that were never filmed and editions of Fray that were never written. Partly to find out what I have to look forward to.

Rock On,

Dear Mitch Daniels,

I hate you with the intensity of a thousand supernovas. What kind of ass-whore appoints a timber industry lobbyist as State Forester? Thanks for setting up the political dominoes to increase the logging of state forests by 500%! You must be some kind of Hoosier antichrist, because you couldn't stop at privatizing our welfare system.

Go Fuck Yourself,

Dear RaJ,



Dear Doppelganger,

You look like me, but way more buff and about 15 pounds lighter. I've always wanted to know how I'd look if I worked out like it was my job, but I imagined I would see it in the mirror, not on some familiar stranger. I have a great view of you when I'm on the StairMaster and you're at the cable cross, and I have to know: what's with the hat? Seriously, who wears a hat when they lift weights? If I lose weight and people start getting us confused, you're going to be an embarrassment. Have pity.

What The Hell,

Dear Everybody,

This is Gonk. He is awesome. Behold!