Sterling

Last Saturday I took the opportunity to slack off and go on a day trip. Jrbl came down to play with MacGyver and me, and though I have impending chemistry and physics tests, I chose to spend the day with my boys. Jrbl is likely moving to the west coast in a couple months, and I didn't want to regret ignoring him to study. Besides, he's one of the coolest people I have ever known, and I keep hoping it'll rub off on me.

I had heard about Andy Warhol's "Silver Clouds" for days on the radio, so I made MacGyver drive through New Harmony until we found the exhibit. Initially, it was underwhelming. Upon closer inspection, it was everything. After a few minutes of playing beween the balloons, my boys and I laid on the floor with our heads close enough to talk. I was seeing balloons, but I felt like I was underwater, looking up at encircling fish. The balloons felt alive, almost benevolent. Occasionally one would nuzzle my legs, and I felt tickled that it had picked me. I let my focus fade, and silver shapes passed through my field of vision; it felt as if the room was moving, then something inside of me would click and I felt as if I was moving and the room was still. I let my thoughts fade, the concepts of partial pressures and collision theory washed over me. I was finally small enough to observe the molecules around me, and for a brief time Gen Chem I made sense. I asked what you would call a group of balloons, they seemed to warrant a special collective name like a hive or a murder. We tossed out ideas: a choir? a chorus? a flock? an entropy? We settled on a mill of balloons. We pondered which drug we would prefer if we were going to do this high*: LSD, marijuana, or 'shrooms? I had researched the first two for a psychopharmacology class and a friend had described her experiences with the third, so I chose 'shrooms. Jrbl likened the exhibit to cogntive science, and the patterns that arise from dynamic systems. We watched them in ther natural habitat, the brave ones skimming across our bodies, the wary ones keeping their distance, the oblivious ones canoodling in the corner. I stopped watching the ballons and focused on the reflections: I saw myself drifting farther away, our trio coming closer, pieces of the floor floated across the ceiling, bits of window flew across the room. I wanted time to stop for me, and to let me savor this rare bit of happiness. The best I could do was stay in the clouds for 45 minutes and let the fuzzy wisps of bliss gently cling to me on my way out the door.



*I have never used drugs**, and I don't intend to. Interestingly, one of my patients has made me promise her several times to never use drugs. I think it's sweet of her to help me not end up in her situation.

**But I will take all the nitrous the dentist offers. And if you want to buy me a drink, I would be more than happy to oblige you.