Wednesday, January 9, 2008

What the Internet Really Needs is More Cats

I have the fortune of living with two cats. They expressed the desire to be featured on my blog, so I gave them a meme (memeow?) to fill out. Domino is older, more cunning, and has the personality of a pit viper. She is an evil, insolent genius. Gonk is soft, sweet, and loves everybody. He has more charisma than most movie stars.

Tell us a little about yourself.
Domino: I'm bad ass. I'll eat your face and hide your body under the deck. I also enjoy stepping on people's bladders and blaming Gonk for the food I steal. I am black and white and gorgeous all over.
Gonk: I am soft and fluffy. I like cuddling people after they've had a hard day at work. I like cuddling people anytime they are horizontal. Or vertical.

Describe your household.
Gonk: I live with mommy and daddy and I love them. I love aunt and uncle too. I also love the fish and Mr. Pineapple. I love Domino. I hate Max with every fiber of my being, and then some.
Domino: I have a sweet crib. There's a pink monkey that feeds me, he's OK. There's you, ma, and you should feed me more. I think there's something alive downstairs, but I don't really care. Oh, and Gonk.

What would your perfect date be?
Domino: We would catch bunnies and eat their faces. Then I'd beat the crap out of you. Maybe I'd even let you live.
Gonk: I would lick your face, and you would lick mine. Then we would nap!

What's your favorite color?
Gonk: Turtle.
Domino: Black and white, duh.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Domino: By 2013 I will be a mercenary. You will find me by the trails of blood and terror in my wake.
Gonk: I will cash in my bonds and buy my own can opener. I will be a triple threat, writing, directing, and starring in independent films. Bob Redford will be my next-best-friend, and I will win all the awards at Sundance. And I will have a pony!

Who are your heroes?
Gonk: Albert Schweitzer, mommy, daddy, Terry Fox, Mr. Pineapple, and Muhammad. And Gautama Buddha.
Domino: Arnold Schwartzenegger, Al Capone, Strong Bad, Ranger, and Oprah.

What people be surprised to know about you?
Domino: Steel Magnolias made me weepy.
Gonk: I sleep naked.

What are your talents?
Gonk: I rank fourth in the world in professional billiards. I make an excellent vegetable omelet. I give Savion Glover private dance lessons when he's in town.
Domino: I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. I am the world's foremost Proust scholar. I made Dick Cheney cry with the power of my mind.

Gonk: No. But maybe tomorrow it will be true!
Domino: Maybe.

What does the opposite sex love most about you?
Domino: No one loves Domino.
Gonk: Me.


EvilDucky77 said...


J-Dog said...


Joe Blaylock said...

Wow. That's some funny shit, yo.

I hope you're well. I missed getting to see you the other day.

rabidmonkey said...

from this, gonk reminds of a more articualte gir from invader zim.

Danger said...

WTF is invader zim? Or articualte gir? Is that Spanish? Are you drunk?

rabidmonkey said...

invader zim is a cartoon. one of the charater's is a cute and amusing but somewhat retarded robot disguised as a dog named gir. gonk is more articulate, although still cute and kind of random. i, although not drunk, have typo issues.