My First Meme

Here are the rules: Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves. Write a post about your own random things. Post these rules. At the end of your blog, tag 8 people and post their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment and tell them they're tagged.

1. I hate large pieces of furniture. They're so...permanent. During a particularly nomadic 36 months I moved seven times and schlepped some things into my friends' basement for a month. So I actually moved my belongings eight times, which is the annoying, shitty part. For obvious reasons I developed my contempt of chiffarobes and kitchen tables: they involve heavy lifting, trucks, and bribes for other people to do the heavy lifting for me. Ironically, I married a carpenter.

2. My favorite word is "rapscallion." The runners-up are "bittersweet" and "mezzanine."

3. I have done more things to bodies than anyone else I know. I have bathed, massaged, straight cathed, enema-ed, sliced, diced, clothed, polished, fed, medicated, taken fluids (blood, urine, sputum, vitrious fluid, and bile), toileted, kicked, and joint-locked. If you count what I've done to rats and sexual things (to people! you sick bastard!), I would probably have twice as many verbs listed.

4. I have watched Army of Darkness roughly five thousand million dozen times. I used to be able to speak the entire script along with the movie. VBG bought If Chins Could Kill for me (and it's signed! Groovy!) and it remains one of my prized possessions.

5. My favorite physical feature is a facial scar. I don't know when or how I got it, but there it is. I love it because it is a mystery, and it isn't a body part I can compare to other people's and then smother my inferiority complex with Phish Food.

6. I am the last of 6. My mother is the last of 5. Her mother was the last of 12. If you add miscarriages, I am the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter. Yet I have no mystical powers. At least, none that I use for good.

7. I wrote my first book at the barely-literate age of 6. The plotline revolved around my journey to a lost kingdom where I found treasure and unicorns. I wrote my second book in the third grade. This time I journeyed to various worlds, eating more sugar than necessary, exploring jungles, and slaying dragons, for which I was rewarded with treasure. It was made possible by a leprechaun that I rescued on page two. Senior year of high school I wrote an outline for my third book. I refuse to show it to anyone, but I will say it involves a journey (no treasure though).

8. I am the world's foremost Proust scholar.

This is the part where I tag 8 people. Except I don't think I know 8 people who haven't done this. Let me think about it.