The glut of birthdays is nearly over. By nearly over I mean I just celebrated three and the next one isn't until June 1st. Plus I have yet to give MacGyver his birthday card which I have been saving for 2 years, if saving means I keep forgetting to give it to him. His birthday and F-bomb's fall on the same day, which is awkward when I consider that on May 8th we are the only two people on Team F-bomb guaranteed to get cake and sex. I was put in charge of giving my boss his gift by the rest of my team. Trust me, they will not make that mistake again. To ensure less responsibility in the future I gave our boss a sympathy card. I found it hilarious.
Jews have all the fun. True, they have to deal with stereotypes, circumcision, persecution, discrimination, and genocide, but they still get eight crazy nights to celebrate Hanukkah. Catholics don't even have eight holidays that equal that kind of partying! We have Christmas, Easter, Christmas eve, Fat Tuesday, St. Nicholas' Day, and not much else, which is all nullified by 40 days of Lent. My parents made us give up television every year for Lent. That sucked balls, man. I'm trying to talk MacGyver into celebrating our birthdays for eight days each next year. I am confident that I can successfully celebrate his B'day for eight days, I am not so sure he can do the same. Remember when he made me cry by not getting me a Christmas present? I sure do. Sometimes a sympathy card holds no irony for my birthday.
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