Featuring Kung Fu Grip

I have had a fascination with terror birds for a couple of years. I read about them in Discover, and they were described as the closest thing to a dinosaur that a human has ever encountered. The fact that they weigh more than half a ton and could simulataneously eviscerate and kick the hell out of you makes the hairs on the back of my neck prickle.
I applied for that physical therapy tech position about 2-3 weeks ago and I haven't heard anything from the hospital. Is it cool to send HR a follow up letter that says "GIVE ME THIS DAMN JOB OR I'LL CUT YOU!" ? Or at least with that theme? Hospitals take forever to hire anyway, but I was hoping they would get my application and say, "This is the person we have been searching for! Call her stat!" (Everyone who works in a hospital says "stat." Everyone.) I could start applying elsewhere, but they were they only one who actually had a position open.

I like Fridays at work. I try pretty hard to make my work load as light as possible so I can finish up paperwork in the afternoon and chat with my cubicle mates about how drunk they will be in 6 hours or where they will be bagpiping on Sunday or whatnot. Because cubicleville is the corporate equivalent of 40 illegal immigrants stuffed into a studio apartment, I am privy to a lot of conversations. Such as Vagina Skirt Girl's side of one over the phone. At the other end was a young man who is pretty ill and has a compulsion to put acid in his eyes. He had never done it...until Friday. Everything went as well as could be, considering. She kept him on the phone, he only put it in one eye, which may not be blinded totally, and she got the sheriff there before he could swallow it. Can you imagine how you would feel after that? She did everything right with him and it wasn't enough.