Thursday, February 28, 2008

Countdown

I am presently transitioning cases to other social workers. One of my patients has been really easy to deal with, and I didn't mind giving him to an already overloaded co-worker. Then? We found out he's on crack. Another patient is freaking out because she has to go to a nursing home. Several people have food stamps pending, Medicaid made some random changes, and I found my suicidal patient in a rehab center with MRSA. But the good news is that I won't have to deal with any of that in nine days.

I will be dealing with 20 miles of hiking. In one day. Unless the weather sucks.

On the verge of change, I tend to make grandiose plans. For instance, before graduating I planned out my future massage therapy studio. I made a list of everything I would have to buy for the business, set my prices, and picked out a name. When I decided to pursue a psychology major, I researched how to score an internship with the FBI and become an agent. I bought a Camelbak with the aspiration to do a century.

I haven't failed every ambitious project, though, which gives me the hope that some of my plans are just crazy enough to work. I did manage to finish Book It in two weeks, lose 17 pounds for my wedding by riding my bike 20 miles a day, and drive from Orlando to Bloomington, IN in one go. But these are few and far between. I am more likely to get a great idea for a book, write an outline, title my chapters, and forget about it. Why do I do this? In part, I think my personality type explains a lot. If I believe in something, I can make enormous sacrifices to achieve it. Right now, I don't believe I can do much for my patients. So I'm done.

Part of me went away when I took this job. MacGyver has been commenting on how much more I seem like my real self already. I've been happier and more spontaneous. I remembered past plans with Joe and Anami, then ten minutes later had them on the phone to propose we pick a day to traipse 20 miles and go for it. Wait, what? Twenty miles? After a lethargic winter? After a stressful end to my social work career? After no preparation whatsoever? Who does that?

The girl I used to be does that.

3 comments:

velocibadgergirl said...

I miss the old you, too...hopefully I'll get to see the new / old you more than once every other month, cuz...that sucked.

Joe said...

So, our dog sitters (K&K) are going to be out of town that weekend, and our boarding options are all full up. I'm trying to figure out if we can do something else with them, but do you think it would fuck things up much if we brought them with?

Radioactive Jam said...

And on an unrelated note... you've got mail.