Hope

I have a job interview tomorrow and Wednesday. Wish me luck!

Popsicle Toes

Ahem

I'M TIRED OF SUCKING AT EVERYTHING!

Like They Do on the Discovery Channel

A little while ago I mentioned seeing tortoise intercourse at the zoo. Here's my proof. I wish I could have gotten sound.

The very next day, I was in Indianapolis with some family and we enjoyed a jaunt through the woods. We came upon a retention pond, and discovered two snapping turtles expressing their love in a physical manner. This reptile dude was not so proficient though, he kept mounting the wrong end. Poor reptile lady, that must have been so awkward for her.

On April 15, 2003, MacGyver and I went on a night hike with Anami and Joe around Ogle Lake in Brown County State Park. MacGyver and I had been dating for three years, we hadn't been having a good day, and the hike was a last ditch effort at not having a crappy anniversary. The moon was nearly full and the weather was perfect. When we got to the trail, there were thousands of frogs in and around the lake making whoopee. I remember I had to plan my steps so I wouldn't squish frogs, and more than once we had an amphibian collide with our ankles while jumping across the trail. We had planned to travel a couple of connecting trails for a nice four mile hike, but we were going so slowly we could only manage to take the much shorter trail along the banks of Ogle Lake. MacGyver stopped to poke a lone female, and she wrapped herself around his finger and wouldn't release him. Apparently she secreted something on him because his finger was numb for the next hour or so. We also discovered a few frog balls - one female with up to seven males clinging to her and each other. The sight was simply amazing, I had never seen so many frogs at once, and they were so focused. Usually when I see one it jumps out of sight the first chance it gets, but these dudes paid no attention to us whatsoever. Around this time of year I always wish we lived there again, just to try to relive that night.

Verdant

During the third week of February MacGyver bought some peat pots and dirt, and we spent a Sunday starting seeds for FutureGarden. We planted three kinds of tomato, two kinds of basil, morning glories, sunflowers, and rainbow bell peppers. We also transplanted my Valentine's berry bushes out of their sawdust-filled baggies into much larger pots of dirt. Last week we bought corn and snow peas to sow directly into the garden, and I started some watermelon and pumpkin seeds in another batch of peat pots. There wasn't enough room on the table, so I propped up the lid of a plastic tote and placed the watermelon pots on it. Every few hours I move the lid back into the sun.

Lately I've been busy thinning the tomatoes, basil, and sunflowers because they're running out or room. The tomatoes and basil even smell like grown-ups, I brush the leaves with my fingertips to smell summer. The peppers took their sweet time, as of this morning there were 13 seedlings. I keep yelling at the watermelons to grow but no one has poked up yet, every night I go to bed hoping to see a change in the morning. The homebuilders used clay from our yard to make the bricks for the foundation. When MacGyver excavated the northwest corner he saved those bricks, and he's now using them to build raised beds in our north yard for berries. The south yard will be tilled for vegetables.

I feel like we've taken on more than I can handle, but at the same time I think of how much more I'll plant next season if this year goes well. Everything just seems so possible in March.

Blanket Thief

Observation

Turns out, simultaneously sneezing and eating oatmeal is exactly as horrible as you'd think.

Memory Snapshot

When I was nine or ten years old, I was in the family van with my mom, dad, and sister heading back home from Vincennes. My sister would have been 21 or 22 at this time, and I was a year or two away from my first sex ed class. Our parents sat in front, and we were sitting behind them. I was staring out the window and mulling over a word I'd been hearing at school, trying to work out what it meant. I turned to my sister.

"Are you a virgin?" I asked with no warning whatsoever.

There was a pause. "No." There was complete silence up front, and our parents stared. straight. ahead.

I nodded, astonished that my sister had most likely taken her clothes off and kissed someone. My formative brain attempted to process the information, and I eventually went back to thinking about something that was actually interesting, like sharks.

Puss in Boot

Bad Boys in the Dark

Once upon a time, I was young and naive. I had only lived on the family farm, I sucked at making friends, and I never knew what to do with myself. Now I am almost old, and that first detail is untrue. One day, the time came to go to college and move away and live amongst completely new people (except one, and she was crazy). The first thing I did at college was carry all my stuff into the dorm room that I would share with the crazy one. The second was to meet the bus for a Freshman Pre-Orientation Rock Climbing trip. After a long weekend of camping and rock climbing, I came back to campus feeling emboldened and mighty.

I felt so bold that I talked to a stranger when I got home. He was from India and went by Nik, and was impressed by my adventures in Red River Gorge. We chatted awhile and he offered to give me a campus tour and show me his climbing equipment. What happened next should have taught me never to talk to strangers.

He held my hand when we crossed the street, which didn't seem as weird as it should have. See, I did not have skills to cross the street safely every time. Even three years later people would occasionally grab me to yank me out of the way of a bus. The last part of the tour involved playing in Showalter fountain. This was before the Bobby Knight riot and the fish statue population was higher. Nik and I made plans to come back at the end of the year and collect spare change from the fountain. The tour was over, but he still had to show me his rock climbing gear.

When we got to his dorm, I was sopping wet and dripping water everywhere. I thought he was so nice to let me borrow his workout clothes so I could be dry. He suggested we watch Bad Boys, as his room was pimped out for the ultimate viewing experience. It was really late and I was absolutely exhausted, but I agreed. He got the TV and DVD and stereo hooked up, and turned on the black light. He started bragging about his ballroom dancing skills, as he had taken a beginner's class last semester. He was so glad he had learned, and he was sure he could teach me some steps. In normal situations, I was a social imbecile. In the eerie light, I started picking up on his signals. We danced, and every nerve in my body sang, keeping me as far away from his body as possible. He smiled, and his teeth and eyes had an unholy glow against his dark skin. He tilted his face and grinned, and all the hairs on my neck stood up. I thought No one knows I'm here, and I wish I was wearing my own clothes, and I have no idea how to get out of here, and He could rape me. I was so tired, and so freaked, and so scared of being rude. I was so afraid that I wouldn't make friends at college that even in a bad situation I didn't want to offend someone.

His bed was lofted, and I sat and the edge. If I fell asleep and tipped forward, I would fall to the floor and hurt myself. If I tipped back, I would be at Nik's mercy. The movie played, but I couldn't concentrate. All my focus was on staying conscious. I remember it was a talkie, so people said lines, and there might have been some explosions and a blonde female. The movie must have ended at dawn, because I remember walking home in weak sunlight, wearing a stranger's clothes and holding mine at arm's length. A week later I would begin taekwondo class, and I would wish I had known then what I know now.

OMFG

Today at the zoo, while Blaze was checking out the snakes, I noticed the tortoises were unusually active. I got closer to investigate, and there were five in the corner. Three were intently watching the other two GET IT ON. And the boy tortoise? WAS MOANING. LOUDLY. This guy was deep and rumbly, he was the Barry White of reptiles.

Mother Nature never ceases to make me wonder WTF?