Beware of the Children

My sister is happily fertile. She has 4 kids, ages 7,5, 3.5, and 1.333 years old. There could be more, we don't know when she'll stop. I, on the other had, use multiple forms of birth control and believe taking care of two cats is sometimes more than enough hassle. I love her spawn dearly, but sometimes feel overwhelmed by them. When she asked me to babysit, I gave her Velocibadgergirl's phone number instead. I had never been alone with any of her kids until today.

I babysat the youngest two, and didn't freak out once. Well, not much anyway. Her oldest child had some severe separation anxiety, but not these two. I got there early, and she slipped out, and nothing terrible happened. I was checking the clock about every four minutes for the first half hour, wishing my sister would get home early (she was actually late). Oddly, it never started. The 16-month-old didn't go searching for her mom at all. There were some surprises, like when she spontaneously busted out a downward-facing dog split, ran in circles around me, and assumed a sumo wrestling stance.

I would like to say I kicked baby-sitting's ass, but I had some help from electronic devices that distract kids really well. I also fed the toddler grapes whenever it looked as if she might cry. No one was kidnapped and the house didn't burn down, so at least I didn't suck.