Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas

Soon after my mother returned from the hospital she decided to end treatment. Her transfusions really only allowed her to have enough energy to return for more transfusions. She didn't want to live like that, and she thought the blood could help someone else more. The last time she was able to hold a conversation was Wednesday. After that, she was weak enough that many of my brothers and I stayed with her to help her take medicine, get to the commode, and things like that. When she was really weak we slept in shifts so someone would always be with her in case she needed anything. She awoke Sunday at 1:30 in the morning and we alerted our dad; he was able to say his last good-bye. To say it was heart-wrenching would be an understatement. She was rarely conscious after that. I was with mom when her breathing became more and more shallow and finally ceased, she passed away at 1:25 Christmas Eve morning. I am glad that I was there to see that she died peacefully, I am not so glad that the scene replays in my mind, causing me to see her die dozens of times.

When she was awake Saturday I took my chance to tell her she had made Christmas come early in a way. The whole family was there, including her brother and a nephew, and we spent time comforting one another and sharing our favorite family stories. Friends and relatives filled the house with food, especially cookies, and we worked on the family Christmas donation. I told her that when all the contributions were in MacGyver and I would give enough money to make the total $1,941 to reflect her birth year.

She absolutely loved Christmas, and I believe that this year our family honored the true spirit of the season more than ever before.


M said...

I've never commented but lurked occasionally via Ms Badger. I'm so sorry for your loss but so glad you were there even if the scene is a hard one on your heart.

The donation in amount her birth year is a beautiful thing.

I wish I had something to say that could make it even slightly better but it sounds like in a situation as awful as this it's as good as it can be.

So I send thoughts of strength and peace to you and your family as you go through this process.

rabidmonkey said...

i'd really love to say something that would make you feel better, but anything i could say would just be empty shallow words in comparison to what you must be feeling.

instead i'll just say that when i see you next, i will be sure to have a big comforting hug for you.

J-Dog said...

I just wanted to say that I was very sad to here the news about your mom. My grandmother died a month ago, and that was hard, but I'm sure that if I multiplied that by 100 I probably wouldn't approach what you're feeling right now. I don't really know what else to say other than that I hope you can get to feeling better as soon as can be expected. :)

Joe Blaylock said...

If you want anything at all, you need only to call.