Monday, November 26, 2007

Take Two Stummies and Call Me in the Morning

How am I going to know if this is worth it?

I have a suspicion that I will not know if keeping this job and going to school is worthwhile until it is over, which will be about another year and a half. If our actions define us, is this really who I want to be? I had a couple of hours that I refused to spend doing homework last night, and I had no idea what to do with myself. I don't keep in touch with my friends like I should, my hobbies are dwindling, I can't sleep enough, I feel BORING, and wonder if I can have a mid-life crisis at 26 (I guess if I die at 52 it is technically possible, but still).

I do what I do in hopes I will be satisfied later. But...what if there isn't a later? Why can't I be satisfied with my current job and find fulfillment elsewhere? Maybe, in volunteering or recommitting myself to taekwondo or making babies or something. Maybe fulfillment lies in throwing dinner parties for my friends, so we can eat and laugh and share the love. I have the utmost admiration for the people I work with who do their jobs well. Am I asking too much of myself to stick around and become one of them?

Cultivating happiness is up to me.

I would like to subcontract the work to someone who knows what they are doing. Feel free to e-mail your resume.

4 comments:

EvilDucky77 said...

Did you just say your fulfillment might lie in making babies?? who are you and what have you done with Danger?!

;)

EvilDucky77 said...

PS- you can call me anytime you get bored. . .

Danger said...

I do not want to make babies. I was just throwing out possibilities.

Rockycat said...

Take all the education you can get. I didn't get enough, and now I can't afford it, and I regret it.