Unsurprise!

I did not get the job.

On My Knees

I'm not much for praying. When I was a wee tyke, I would get agitated in church because when I asked God a question, I couldn't hear any answers. In high school, my devout parents brought home books about the historical Jesus, and they talked about who this guy really was. A memorable dinner table discussion involved the fish and the loaves, where it was decided he didn't make them out of thin air, but he convinced people to share what they already had. When I was a social worker, I counseled people who got off their meds and believed they were God, or Jesus, or Jesus in a black woman's body, or Zeus*. I started wondering about the mental health of biblical characters and evangelicals. I mean, I always thought of Oral Roberts and his ilk as weird, but maybe they're closer to clinically psychotic. With time, God has felt less and less real. My beliefs have been stuck in an agnostic limbo.

However, for the past week I've been praying about every 20 minutes. Why? Because I had a job interview, and I need it real bad. I've committed everything short of bribery to get hired, but I really doubt I'll actually get it. So for the first time in years I'm taking my grandfather's advice to act as if it's all up to me, and to pray as if it's all up to God.

So I'm wondering: if i do get the job, will I start sincerely believing in God again?


*This one patient thought he was Zeus when went off his meds. When he took them, he was pentecostal and spoke in tongues. I had the damnedest time telling when he was actually mentally well.

The Name Game

Use the first letter of your name to fill in the following. Don't make anything up. Tag ten more people if you want. But strife and misfortune won't befall you if you don't.

1. What is your name: Laura

2. A 4-Letter Word: Love

3. A Boys Name: Lester

4. A Girls Name: Lacey Lee

5. An Occupation: Lineman

6. A Color: Lilac

7. Something you wear: Lycra leggings

8. A Beverage: Lemonade

9. A Food: Lobster lasagna

10. Something found in the bathroom: Live microbes

11. Movie Title: Lawrence of Arabia

12. A Reason for being late: Lack of motivation

13. Something you shout: Look alive!

14. A Place You've Visited: Louisiana

15. A Word That's Fun to Say: Lollipop

16. Celebrity Baby Name Idea: L'ondon

17. Reason to Break Up With Someone: Lackluster lust

18. Fake Band Name: Lakeside Lemmings

19. Book You've Read: Little House in the Big Woods

20. Something You're Afraid Of: Losing loved ones

Presenting Belle

Meet the newest addition to the Danger family, she's the firstborn of my second oldest brother, Chevy. She was born by C-section and has the fortune of not having the weird, compressed skull look many infants sport. Most babies take a few months to cuten up (in my opinion), but I could just eat her up. And she's not even seven pounds, so I could probably fit half of her arm in my mouth without gagging. Her hair has an interesting off-center cowlick in front, I'm crossing my fingers that she grows out of it and escapes a life of side ponytails.

What's New with You?

My little Pontiac is in hospice. The seals and a gasket on the water pump failed, the water pump developed holes, the radiator leaked, and the cooling fan died. MacGyver fixed all of these problems, but now it misfires and tried to die in Christmas season evening traffic at the mall. Now I drive my mom's old Buick Roadmaster, which has more than double the power and seats more than twice as many people.

Also, MacGyver and I are mostly moved into our new house. We should be living there within a week. I look forward to keeping our bedroom a secret from the cats (don't ask how) so they don't stand outside the door all night and say "brrrrMEOW brrrrMEOW" (he sounds like a ringtone) or "MAAHH!!! MAAHH!!! MAAHH!!!" (she sounds like a bitch).

Also, all my classes are over, and I am looking for a job. This is an activity I hate even more sincerely than moving.

Also, I went off of my antidepressants. Not because I don't need them, but because I can't afford them anymore. If my level of crazy seems to increase over the next few weeks, it's because IT IS.

Also, Joe and Anami visited for a couple of days. Their visit coincided with some of the best weather we've had here, and walking in the sunshine with friends felt like the best thing ever.

Also, three cousins from California came to visit for a few days. I missed a day of their visit due to violent illness, but I recovered and made chicken pot pie for all. Hooray!

Also, I would like to know how you are doing.