I'm an Alcoholic Hero. Who Knew?

Which Discworld Character are you Like? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Commander Samuel Vimes You are Samuel Vimes! Captain of Ankh-Morpork's city Watch! You are a knight, married to the very wealthy, noble lady Sybil Ramkin. You often walk the streets at night, and are able to tell where you are by the feel of the cobbles under your boots. You always do what is right (that is, what needs to be done) to keep the city safe, even when it seems bad. Commander Samuel Vimes 69% Carrot Ironfounderson 63% The Librarian 56% Greebo 56% Death 44% Lord Havelock Vetinari 44% Gytha (Nanny) Ogg 44% Cohen The Barbarian 44% Rincewind 44% Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax 19%

Pixies

I've been thinking about stuff (again). I just thought I'd share.

Paper, Rock, Obama

On the negative side, Bush sucks and his approval rating is a scant 28%. Might the five year anniversary of his war have anything to do with that? On the plus side, he has given me a reason to like all the possible candidates for '08. Because, seriously, it can't get any worse. After eight years of a hypocritical, Earth-raping, illiterate, greedy leader, we get to have somebody else. No matter who gets elected, even if it's a retarded monkey, we can all sleep sounder knowing the most powerful simian in the world is not an incompetent tool.

If John McCain is elected, he will probably keep on with the senseless warmongering . But, at least he has experience and doesn't have an unexplained six month lapse in his military career. He might actually know what he's talking about, so he won't have to resort to yelling "The terrorists hate our freedom!" while pounding his fists on the podium to sway his audience. As a bonus, he's old and white, so he looks the part.

Clinton is a smart lady. You don't get into Wellesley for juggling geese, that's for sure. She's been a Senator since 2000, so she's got that experience thing going for her, sort of. If she is elected, we'll get more Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton repetition, making it easier for future schoolchildren to memorize the Presidents. Plus, we'll get to call Bill "The First Dude" instead of "Mr. President."

Obama could be our hottest President since Reagan. Rowrr! He's articulate and charismatic, the Democratic Golden Boy. He could have been anything, a game-show host or a weatherman even, but instead he chose public service. What a guy!

Right now I'm behind Obama because I think his environmental plan is the best of the three and he's pro-choice. I'm not so picky, I'd probably vote for that retarded monkey if it vowed to add the polar bear to the endangered species list and promised me free ice cream.

To Whom It May Concern

Dear Joss Whedon,

I love you more every day. If I could try on someone's mind for a day, it would so be yours. Mostly to see episodes of Firefly that were never filmed and editions of Fray that were never written. Partly to find out what I have to look forward to.

Rock On,

Danger

Dear Mitch Daniels,

I hate you with the intensity of a thousand supernovas. What kind of ass-whore appoints a timber industry lobbyist as State Forester? Thanks for setting up the political dominoes to increase the logging of state forests by 500%! You must be some kind of Hoosier antichrist, because you couldn't stop at privatizing our welfare system.

Go Fuck Yourself,

Danger

Dear RaJ,

EEE!! OOK!! EEK!!

Squee,

Danger

Dear Doppelganger,

You look like me, but way more buff and about 15 pounds lighter. I've always wanted to know how I'd look if I worked out like it was my job, but I imagined I would see it in the mirror, not on some familiar stranger. I have a great view of you when I'm on the StairMaster and you're at the cable cross, and I have to know: what's with the hat? Seriously, who wears a hat when they lift weights? If I lose weight and people start getting us confused, you're going to be an embarrassment. Have pity.

What The Hell,

Danger

Dear Everybody,

This is Gonk. He is awesome. Behold!

Countdown

I am presently transitioning cases to other social workers. One of my patients has been really easy to deal with, and I didn't mind giving him to an already overloaded co-worker. Then? We found out he's on crack. Another patient is freaking out because she has to go to a nursing home. Several people have food stamps pending, Medicaid made some random changes, and I found my suicidal patient in a rehab center with MRSA. But the good news is that I won't have to deal with any of that in nine days.

I will be dealing with 20 miles of hiking. In one day. Unless the weather sucks.

On the verge of change, I tend to make grandiose plans. For instance, before graduating I planned out my future massage therapy studio. I made a list of everything I would have to buy for the business, set my prices, and picked out a name. When I decided to pursue a psychology major, I researched how to score an internship with the FBI and become an agent. I bought a Camelbak with the aspiration to do a century.

I haven't failed every ambitious project, though, which gives me the hope that some of my plans are just crazy enough to work. I did manage to finish Book It in two weeks, lose 17 pounds for my wedding by riding my bike 20 miles a day, and drive from Orlando to Bloomington, IN in one go. But these are few and far between. I am more likely to get a great idea for a book, write an outline, title my chapters, and forget about it. Why do I do this? In part, I think my personality type explains a lot. If I believe in something, I can make enormous sacrifices to achieve it. Right now, I don't believe I can do much for my patients. So I'm done.

Part of me went away when I took this job. MacGyver has been commenting on how much more I seem like my real self already. I've been happier and more spontaneous. I remembered past plans with Joe and Anami, then ten minutes later had them on the phone to propose we pick a day to traipse 20 miles and go for it. Wait, what? Twenty miles? After a lethargic winter? After a stressful end to my social work career? After no preparation whatsoever? Who does that?

The girl I used to be does that.

That Which I Should Have Done I Did Not Do

I fear taking things for granted. I fear losing something because I thought I could have it later. I fear not appreciating what I don't have to work for. I fear feeling entitled. I fear wasting my life. I fear not feeling alive.



I'm not so sure what I'm going to do about it.

Damn, I Suck

Unless I wuss out, tomorrow I put in my official resignation.

I spent the last two weeks in mental anguish, because as much as I hate my job and what it does to me, I don't really want to go. I will admit to waffling on my decision. I took this job because I felt performing massage therapy just wasn't helpful enough, and I needed to help people MORE. Plus, my boss was certifiably guano* crazy and I had to hide from her a lot. Seriously, I literally hid from her, and I was one of the few people she liked.

Anyway, social work is definitely helpful, and I tend to believe that's the purpose of our lives. Sometimes I even make an actual difference to people on the fringes of society. That was one of the things that made the Pros column on my Should I Quit? List. The Cons column, however, was about thrice the length and included things like "This job erodes my soul" and "Maybe I'll be less suicidal" which sort of voided "I get to see Amy and Janell :)" and "Regular paychecks are sweet" on the other side.

I have cried over my patients, I have lost sleep over their well-being, I have experienced frustration on a whole new level, and I still don't want to leave them. My first week back after mom died, I found out a patient of mine (who has refused my services FOREVER) had overdosed and was in a coma. Something super shitty happened the second week too, but it has been overshadowed by the ordeal of Brain-Damaged Lady's brother. He has been trying to put her away, despite me, her guardian, my boss, her psychiatrist, and Adult Protective Services telling him he doesn't have just cause to do so. And? Every time he tells her he's going to commit her, she freaks and goes super delusional. So he is contacting the governor about it and is threatening to sue us all. Whee!

So, in a month I will likely wash my hands of it all.

Then I will hope I don't regret it.



*I use this word because I didn't know if bat shit crazy needed a hyphen. If you do, could you please tell me? I'd like to fix this footnote if need be.